Guinea Something Good t-shirts are now available! Right now there are four to choose from. Feel free to make suggestions if you have ideas of what you think would make a great Guinea Something Good t-shirt.

There’s some cool stuff in the new forums worth checking out. First of all, the collaborative comic is underway! Click the preview panel below to see the first two comics in the series, and then make one yourself and continue the story!

Secondly, I have posted a series of comics that I was toying around with before I launched the Guinea Something Good site. This was to be a completely different series. Click the preview panel below to learn more and read the comics!

OK, check this out! I launched some awesome new forums for “Guinea Something Good” today. Check it out here! Sign up, start posting stuff! To get started, you can post new topics, reply to suggested topics started by me, or join in on this thread that’s all about YOU making your own comics! Together! Collaboratively! Using character sheets I’ve provided! I think it’ll be lots of fun. I’ll see you there!

I’m currently taking a character development class (for animation), so of course I’m using Joe as my character, but I’m developing a bi-pedal version.  The point of the class is basically to imbue personality into animation.  With that in mind, here is my first assignment, Joe’s walk cycle:

This is it! The new site is finally here. I apologize profusely for the week of no updates. That’s a first for Guinea Something Good, and hopefully a last. I underestimated just how much time it takes to convert a website from one platform to another. It took a solid TEN HOURS just to transfer the archives! How is that even possible?!

But it’s over! It’s over.

… well, mostly.

There are still a few quirks here and there that need to be ironed out. Commenting won’t be reliable until that happens. You can see there is a bar of numbers underneath the comic that needs to be removed. Wordpress is completely new to me, so I am getting help from outside, and coordinating these changes just takes time. So feel free to drop me a line at jeff@joegp.com if you notice anything that isn’t working right. Chances are I’m already working on getting it fixed, but it’s always possible I’ve overlooked something. So send me a link to the page that’s messed up, and I’ll do my best to fix it ASAP!

So what’s new? First, and most importantly, the first game is finally finished! “Bounce or Die” is the first in what will be a series of games released regularly on this site. I’m excited, so I hope you are, too! I say, get playing! Right now you can try to beat the scores of myself and all the beta testers that were kind enough to help me work the kinks out of the game. And of course, every day is a fresh slate for the Daily Scoreboard. So get bouncing!

There’s also a new archiving system. Now, if you click on “Comics” in the main menu or “Archive” underneath the current comic you’re reading, you will be taken to a page that displays a list of every single comic in the archive, with a nice big thumbnail displaying its first panel and the title of the comic. Pretty convenient way of finding your favorites!

Most of the other changes are back-end related. But suffice to say, it’s going to be a lot easier for me to manage this new site. So please, enjoy! Updates will resume their regular schedule on Monday.

Today marks another successful day of tribute to me, Joe the guinea pig! And should it be any other way? In my opinion: no!

The drawing above was done by the talented artist Kiwifruit. In it, she has captured an idyllic scene, a scene from a world I often travel to in my dreams: a world in which George has accepted his role of servitude to me and does nothing but bring me lemonade and keep me cool with a giant leaf – even in winter! Fanning by leaf is the epitome of luxury – I would not have its decadence squandered by the Earth’s seasonal flakiness. To me, there are two ways to approach a situation: you either accept the annoying reality or you live in blissful denial. And there’s nothing sweeter than the notion that it’s summer all year round, even in summer! Except, that is, the idea that everyone else is your servant and they provide you with fruit beverages and all-natural around-the-clock air conditioning.

Now, I beseech the rest of you – submit your Joe tribute! And perhaps you will be spared the fruit beverage / A.C. servitude that will one day fall upon George and the rest of the naysayers. Maybe.

Huh? My call for more Joe tributes … actually WORKED? This is incredible! So I can just ask for things and people will give them to me? Man, I should have asked for more. A LOT more! Presents! Money! TV dinners! Balloons! More money!

I mean, the whole cult thing … I didn’t actually ask for that, did I? I just talked around it. But now that I think about it, leading a cult … am I really up to that task? You have to gather people up, brainwash them … man, it sounds exhausting.

Don’t get me wrong. Power would be nice, too. And my friend “Echo” knows all about that. He has given me a PROPER tribute. Just look at this thing:

There I am, just on top of the world! And I’m the same size as the moon, which is awesome!! That’s my next goal, now. To become the size of the moon. And don’t think I missed out on that symbolism, Echo. I could lead the world half-blind, and it would still be all mine.

Now, I like where he’s going with the moon MAYBE being George’s. It means that a) if George did take control over a celestial body, it would be far less grandiose than mine. And b) it’s not even guaranteed that it would happen. But that’s not thinking grand enough. If I own the Earth, and am the size of the moon, then naturally I need to own the moon, too. I mean, just think of all the cool things you could do with a moon! You could, like, sit on it! And … throw it at planets! But it’s OK. If George owned the moon, I could just take it from him, right? All I’d have to do is pick it up. What’s he going to do to me? Punch a skin cell on my foot? Yes, yes … this moon sized Joe thing is sounding better and better to me.

So this next tribute is a bit different, and comes from =CrystaltheEchidna.

What I like about this tribute is that it shows my softer side. Here I am, ready to feast upon a carrot, sweetly looking off into the distance. My eyes are cute; my countenance gentle. My carrot, enormous. What this does is it paints a very friendly and inviting picture of who I am and what I’m about. When I conquer the planet with an iron fist I’ll be sure to use this image as propaganda to illustrate how sweet I really am.

So thanks, Echo and =CrystaltheEchidna, if those ARE your real names. And to anyone else hesitating to submit their own Joe tribute, GO FORTH AND DRAW! Without more Joe tributes, how will my existence be validated? I DEMAND MORE! MORE MORE MORE!!! Until I’m up to my eyeballs in tributes, that they may cover me up and I may drown in my own likenesses! C’mon, man, you have to admit that it would be a pretty awesome way to die.

OK, now this is what I’m talking about.  Fan art.  See that gorgeous guinea pig there?  

THAT’S ME.  This was sent in by NightTheKittyKat.  She has the right idea.  Pay tribute to Joe!  YES HAHAHAHAHAHA YESSSSSS WORSHIP ME

Oh, the power.  THE POWER.  What will I do with all this power surging through me?  How will I exploit the world?  How will I conquer its peoples?  I have no clue, but surely this is a start.  First you get drawings, then you get human sacrifices.  Right?  That’s how it works, right?  I’m pretty sure that’s how it works.  I’m ready.  I’m SO ready.

Maybe I can start with, like, a cult or something?  How do you do that?  How do you get that rolling?  Make up something about eternity and give everyone a robe and some cookies or something?  I’ll figure it out.  In the meantime, let’s keep these Joe tributes coming in!  ’Cause, hey, if world domination doesn’t work out, I can still shove them in George’s face.

OK, I’m supposed to announce a couple things today. That’s fine. I can do that. But then the floor is MINE! I’ll give you your announcements, but then you have to hear what I have to say! Well, read what I have to say … or, write … FORGET IT LET’S JUST MOVE ON.

Today, instead of a comic, is an image made based on last Friday’s comic. It has a message I entirely disagree with. But what can I do? I don’t make this nonsense. How they edit it together is beyond my control. But the point is that this image has been made for you to put on your desktop, as a so-called “wallpaper.” Personally, I think it should be called a “desktop-coverer,” but we can get into all my improvements of the lexicon later. While I fundamentally disagree with the message being conveyed, I do agree that it would be awesome for me to be on your desktop. Even if I have to share the spotlight with George. One step at a time. One step at a time.

Here are the various resolutions you can download this thing at:

1920x1080

1024x768

1366x768

1280x800

1280x1024

1440x900

Ugh. Numbers.

Anyway, you can also buy this image, too. As what? You name it. Wall art, greeting cards, magnets, mouse pad, mug, postcard, puzzle … if there’s way to nickel and dime you out of your nickel and dimes, they’ve clearly thought of it with this thing. I better get some kind of royalty for my face being plastered on this stuff. I still have to talk to George about how he feels about the whole mess. I mean, personally, I LIKE being made into a product. It just makes it that much easier for my image to seep into the soul of the world and start turning it into my own personal puppet. But George’s aspirations are pretty boring. He might complain about “integrity” or “privacy” or some other nonsense buzz words. I don’t even think he knows what he’s saying half the time.

Finally, there is a new animation today. I hear it is the last animation that will use that disturbingly inaccurate puppet supposedly based on my likeness. Good riddance. They got my ears all wrong, not to mention everything else. The title card does me justice, though, so it’s not a complete disaster.

Speaking of disasters, how long have I been typing here about all this BS?! I was promised the floor after getting through the announcements, and here I’m already halfway down the internet! Man, no one’s going to read this far. OK, look, I’m going to hold off on my floor holding. FOR NOW. But expect TWICE AS MUCH JOE next time around! YOU GOT THAT?! I’ll be back, and THE FLOOR WILL BE MINE! THE FLOOR WILL BE ALL MINE!!! IT WILL BE JOE’S FLOOR!!!

JOE’S FLOOOOOOOR!!!!!!!!!!!

So look out for that.